2018 was one hell of a year. But what year isn’t? I feel like I say it all the time. *shrugs*
This year, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve learned what I want, didn’t want, what broke me down and made me happy. I’ve learned to let go and forgive myself and others. I’ve learned that everything cannot be on my clock. There was so much that this year has taught me and I thought it would be nice to share some of my lessons with you.
- FORGIVENESS – This one was tough. I’ve resented many people in my life, including myself. But I have learned that if I cannot forgive myself, how am I able to forgive others. If I am unhappy with myself, how am I supposed to make others happy? Same concept in a way, right? People make mistakes (that includes me). But if people truly learned from their mistakes, I feel like it’s okay to forgive. We are not perfect and I say this time and time again. We are human, we will not always do right. But as long as we right our wrongs, we should be able to move forward.
- TIMING – It seems like time is never in my favor or perhaps I just want things when I want it. You can say that is a little bratty, but then again … I want what I want, when I want it. Well, that rarely ever happens for me unless I’m shopping and see something I really like… blah blah. You get the point. But this year, I’ve learned that all realistic goals take time. Buying a home, getting married, having more children and continuously building my life TAKES TIME. Til this day, I find it a little hard to grasp. I sometimes lose faith or hope. But other times, I regain my mental strength and I tell myself, “It’s okay. You will get there.” There is no need to rush at all. Take your time and work towards your goals. You’ll eventually accomplish one at a time. Guaranteed.
- HAPPINESS – This is something that I’ve always struggled with and I am sure more than half of the universe does too. It’s a very touchy subject to some and for others, it’s easy to publicize how happy/unhappy they really are. Mental health has always been a very big concern for me. I struggle with depression and anxiety often – even more these days actually. But I’ve learned to eliminate whatever it is that makes me feel anything but happy. Whether if it’s people, hobbies, social media.. anything that does not put a smile on your face, does not deserve a place in your life. PERIOD. If you cannot make yourself happy, what makes you think others around you will be? It’s not selfish to put yourself before others – NEVER.
- HEALTH – I’ve been up and down with keeping up with my health this year. Not in a bad way, but I know I could’ve been better. Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is very important. Don’t ever let that get out of control! YOU are in control of how you feel inside. Eat healthier, get some exercise or come up with some routine that you can keep up with. Working out and living a healthier lifestyle does bring happiness and less stress into your life. I started working on myself physically again recently – did a 2 day cleanse and all. I am ready to feel better inside so I can look great on the outside as well! Hope you do the same.
I know this is a really quick blog, but I hope this reaches someone – whoever you are. This year has been the year for all of my emotions to unravel, bad and good. My emotions have consumed so much of my life, I kind of lost myself for a bit. There was so much going on, I wasn’t able to keep up with myself. I wasn’t able to be the “perfect mom” (read a former post: “The Not-So-Perfect Mom“), I could barely function socially with friends, family or colleagues – most of the time, it was a front. I wasn’t able to do a superb job like I normally did at work.
All of those things really affected me. My emotions affected me, but only because I let them. 2018 was definitely a roller coaster ride I never want to get back on.
2019 is coming and I am ready for change. Change doesn’t always start on January 1st. It starts when you are ready to make them so start now. I hope the new year brings everyone around me, including you and myself some peace, happiness and lots of love. Please be good to yourself and to others as well. We only live and truly LOVE once.